


The 10 Way Claus Tried to Kill Himself

by Umbra_Writes



Category: Mother 3
Genre: Spoilers, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 22:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbra_Writes/pseuds/Umbra_Writes
Summary: Claus had been brought back for a second time with more mechanical parts, everyone is afraid of what he has become even though he is completely harmless, except to himself. These are his drastic attempts to get back to his mother.





	The 10 Way Claus Tried to Kill Himself

It all started when Claus tried to throw himself off a cliff. It had been in the middle of the night, Claus got up from the bed, he looked around the empty downstairs of the house. Flint had moved one of the beds downstairs for Claus since everyone seemed on edge with him back, even Lucas. Claus was on edge even with himself back, he looked down at the blankets that covered him. He didn’t need them, he could cover himself with his wings, even if they were metal they gave him some warmth. Claus’s hands curled into the blanket, he couldn’t take this. He was supposed to be dead, he died twice yet he was still here. Claus wanted to be loved, wanted everything to be back to normal. He wanted to run around and have fun with Lucas, have adventures and play. But, Claus was a monster now. The male stared down at his metallic hands, being reconstructed twice would do that. New parts have to be added while the broken ones have to be removed. Claus threw the blanket off of himself he stood up and quickly dressed himself, he stared at his gloves before he quickly pulled them on. He looked around, he had to find everything, that meant his mask and his sword. Eventually he found them, hidden in a secret cabinet. Flint must have been hiding them in case he _turned evil._ Claus stared at his mask, he swallowed hard before pulling it on, he attached his belt to his waist before pushing his sword into its hilt. He felt bad, he had just gotten back yet he was leaving so soon, _mom will accept me, she’s always accepted me._ Claus walked over to the front door, he unlocked it before he slowly pulled it open. _Sorry dad, Lucas. I just know you guys don’t trust me._ Claus looked back at the stairs, he swallowed hard before leaving, he closed the door behind himself. It didn’t take him a long time, there was cliffs nearby that lead into the water. He wouldn’t survive this way, all his metal parts against the water. He wasn’t waterproof, Claus knew this. He stood at the edge of the cliff, the water looked so peaceful and calming, it soothed him, just staring at the peaceful waves. _Dad, Lucas, I love you._ Claus took a deep breath before he stepped out, letting gravity take him towards the water. His wings stretched out and he stared up at the stars a final time.

  


They found him in the morning, washed up on the beach and short circuited. It wasn’t long before he was repaired.

 

**_“It’s for your own good.”_ ** They had told him, they locked him in the jail. But what they hadn’t realized was that, that’s not what Claus needed. He needed love, someone to tell him that it was okay, he didn’t need to be locked away. Lucas would visit him every day, he’d walk in with a smile on his face and bring Claus food. He’d always tell Claus that _you’ll get out soon_ and _dad is working on making you your own room._ Claus never responded, he didn’t need to eat so he didn’t understand why Lucas brought him food. At night Claus would think of ways to escape, he’d try them, then eventually give up. In the day, Lucas would visit for an hour or so then he’d have to leave. He’d come back at evening and bring supper with him, it hurt. Seeing the sadness in  Lucas’s eyes whenever he’d visit, Lucas would always focus on his right eye, the one that those, _those bastards_ removed and replaced with _something better_ they called it. It had been a week yet Claus was still in the cell, nobody had come to let him out yet Lucas continued to bring him food without missing a single day. They knew Claus didn’t have to eat, it’s why nobody else brought him food. But his father hadn’t visited him once.

 

“Does dad hate me?” Claus suddenly asked, he lifted his head staring at Lucas through the barred window, Lucas’s eyes went wide and he stared at Claus.

 

“Why would dad hate you?” Lucas asked quietly, Claus looked down at his gloved hands, he pulled his left glove off and let his arm transform into the cannon. “Because look at me Lucas!” Claus stood up, tears welled in his eyes. “I’m not human anymore! I’m a machine! I’m a monster!” Blood started to roll down Claus’s right cheek while tears rolled down the other. Lucas stared at Claus with wide eyes, “C-Claus you aren’t-” **_“I am Lucas! I was supposed to die! Twice!”_** Lucas stepped away from the bars as Claus moved closer to them. The arm cannon was glowing, **_“You’re even scared of me!”_** Claus was shaking, Lucas was moving away from him, he was scared. Lucas was afraid of him. Claus looked at the door, he could break it. Claus jumped back, PSI energy started to fill his cannon as he focused, he fired a large amount of PSI energy at the door and it flew off its hinges. It hit the wall before falling to the ground. Lucas had himself in the corner he was shaking, he had never seen Claus so angry before. “Even. You’re. Afraid. Of. Me.” Claus was breathing heavily with each word, he sluggishly walked up to Lucas  holding onto his arm cannon. Claus fell into Lucas’s arms and Lucas held him tightly,”End me.” Claus whispered. His head was resting on Lucas’s shoulder _“Lucas, please. I shouldn’t be here.”_ “I-I can’t kill you Claus! I couldn’t when the world was in danger I can’t now.” Claus growled before he got off of Lucas, “If you don’t then **_I will!”_** Lucas watched Claus leave the building, he knew he couldn’t stop Claus but he also knew no matter what Claus did they’d just repair him. Lucas felt terrible, he didn’t understand why Claus wanted to die so badly. He was loved, people were just worried about him. But maybe Claus didn’t know that, maybe Claus needed someone to tell him, that Claus didn’t know we was loved.

  


First it was drowning, Claus tried to drown himself in the ocean, he used his wings to weigh himself down in the water, he managed to pass out but washed back up on the beach, unconscious and short circuited once again. They increased the security in the jail, replacing the metal door with a stronger one and making the outside door metal as well.

  


Next Claus tried to hang himself, he didn’t get far though. As Claus was putting himself in the noose one of the villagers had found him in the forest. They had screamed and brought him back to the jail, the bars on the windows were made thicker, more locks were put on the doors and someone had to come check on Claus every hour.

 

His fourth attempt was falling, he had flown as high as his wings would allow him too before he plummeted to the ground below. In the end his wings took the brunt of the force, the fall knocked him out as his wings had protected him. Claus was repaired and put back in the jail. Someone was put on duty watching Claus 24/7.

 

Claus’s fifth attempt was bleeding out, it’s not so easy when you have pure robotic arms and legs but he stabbed himself with a shank he had formed over a week from some stone that had fallen from one of the walls. It worked until the person on duty noticed the blood that was forming around the teen. The walls in the cell were remade using new materials, the entire building was replaced and Claus was put in a holding cell for a few months while they did that.

 

While in the holding cell Claus had his next few attempts, Six was trying to suffocate himself by using his jacket. Seven was trying to use his own PSI energy against himself, firing it into his chest until he was knocked unconscious, his arm cannon had to be repaired as well as the part of his heart that had been replaced when he was reconstructed for a **_second_ ** time. The eighth time he escaped the holding cell, he flew over the ocean and dropped himself into the water as far as he felt the need to go, he washed up on the shore, same result as the last times he had tried. The ninth attempt was using his PSI again, since it had given him better results than anything else he had done. He got the same results yet still they repaired him.

  


Claus was put back in the rebuilt cell. He knew this time he couldn’t escape if he tried, the person who guarded him had something that would disable him in a second as soon as it was pressed. Claus stared at the heavily barred window, _“Please, please just end me.”_ he begged to the guard who just looked at him. In all this time Lucas hadn’t visited. Claus hadn’t eaten or slept, not that he needed to but he would have liked it if Lucas had visited. Claus felt _so alone,_ at this point it didn’t seem like they were trying to protect him it seemed like they were protecting _them from him._ Claus was shaking, he started to cry, “I just want to see Lucas, or dad, or anyone.” The person didn’t respond and this just reminded of his times back with Porky. He couldn’t think of that, it hurt so bad. Just thinking about it made his entire body ache and pain. He continued to beg until his voice gave out, this was his last attempt. “Please, _kill me.”_ he begged once more before he gave up. His voice gave out and he just looked at the wall, the only window he had was looking out into the rest of the building, they had removed the one that let him see to the outside world. _Lucas, where are you? I want to see you again. Lucas? Can you hear me? I wish we could communicate using our PSI powers but I guess, you were always better than me at stuff like that. I needed something to amplify my power to be even able to use it. I always thought mom and dad liked you better anyways so i tried to outdo you all the time, I should have just listened to dad about mom, if I just listened then none of this would have happened. Everything would be fine. I’m sorry Lucas, I’m sorry dad. I’m sorry everyone._ Claus closed his eyes, he didn’t know how long he laid on the floor of his cell before he heard a voice. “Claus?” Claus slowly opened his eyes, Lucas was here, he was staring at Claus sadly through the heavily barred window. Claus gave the male a weak smile and he stood up, walking over to the window. “Lucas, can you do something for me?” Lucas quickly nodded “Do you still have that Franklin badge? I just, I wanna see it again.” Lucas nodded and he looked over at the guard who wasn’t paying attention. “I’ll bring it tomorrow, I promise!” Lucas smiled happily, he was glad that Claus was talking and showing an interest in something. What Lucas didn’t remember was that Claus knew what he could use to finally kill himself, for the last time.

 

Lucas came back the next day with the Franklin badge. He smiled and handed it to Claus, the guard wasn’t paying attention so it wasn’t too difficult. “Thanks Lucas.” Claus smiled, he looked over the badge before he set it against the wall and stepped back. _Come on, this should work, I needed my sword to do this before but come on._ “C-Claus what are you doing?” Lucas stared at his brother worriedly, Claus pulled his glove off, raising his hand into the air, electricity started to form and flick between his fingers. **_“Claus!”_ ** Lucas yelled his eyes wide, the guards started to open the door as fast as he could to stop Claus from what he was doing. At this point Claus couldn’t hear Lucas screaming, once Claus thought it was enough he fired at the badge, the lightning reflected back at him. Claus didn’t know if he screamed or not but the next thing he knew he was in a field of sunflowers. Claus looked around before he seen his mother, a smile spread across his face as he ran towards the female. “Mom! _Mom!”_ He had a large smile on his face but he stopped dead in his tracks as his mother turned and looked at him. She looked so disappointed, Claus’s smile faded and he just stared at the female. “Mom? _Mom I’m back. It’s me, I’m back. I’m finally back with you. Look.”_ She just turned away, tears started to roll down Claus’s cheeks, “Mom! Mom! I’m back! You wanted me here so badly last time! _I’m here!”_ Everything started to fade. **_“Mom! No! I want to stay with you!”_ ** Claus screamed he ran towards the female but everything faded faster and faster.

 

Claus woke up to talking, he could hear Lucas and his father Flint talking. “I want you to remove all the dangerous parts from him, the arm cannon, the wings, anything else that can cause damage.” Flint was talking to someone, “What! Dad you can’t do that!” “It’s for his own good, Lucas.” _“No_ ! Those are parts of him now!” Claus turned his head, he looked through a window at Lucas and Flint, the other person he couldn’t see. Lucas was glaring at Flint angrily, his body was shaking. _“You aren’t protecting Claus anymore! You’re protecting everyone else from him!”_ “Lucas, he’s tried to kill himself ten times now, don’t you think we need to do something about it?” “Locking him away and taking parts from him won’t help! He needs to know that he’s loved! That's what he needs! He isn’t _a monster!”_ “Lucas I know he isn’t a monster, we-” **_“No! You aren’t protecting him! You’re hurting him!”_ ** Lucas screamed as tears rolled down his cheeks, “And if this is how you’re going to treat him then I’m leaving and taking him **_with me!_ ** _I won’t stay in this, in this_ **_damn_ ** _village if this is how my brother is going to be treated! This is his third chance at being here with us and you’re just throwing it away!”_ Lucas stomped out of the building slamming the door behind himself. Flint just looked shocked, his eyes were wide as he stared at the door. “Lucas.” he whispered. Claus had never seen his brother so angry before, it was actually very scary watching Lucas yell like that. Claus turned his head back up at the ceiling, it’d be best if he turned himself off. He knew he needed more repairs and that even if he didn’t want them he’d get them.

  


Claus was sitting on the bed, looking around the room he had woken up in. He was in the same room as earlier but he was fully repaired, he had everything, wings, arm cannon. He could breathe fine and talk normally, he was just waiting. The door was locked and nobody else seemed to be in the building, Claus was waiting for anything. Death, a person, food, anything. He missed eating, he didn’t need to eat but he missed the taste of food, of omelets. He missed a lot of things, but he had time to think, he _thought_ Lucas would come soon so Claus tried to think of things other than dying. _Maybe I should start wearing an eyepatch, cover my right eye. I can’t stand people staring at it whenever they look at me. I just want to be normal again but I know I can’t be, I just wanted to be back with mom, I felt loved in her arms. Here I’m a monster that everyone's afraid of. I just want to be loved for the person I am._ Claus was pulled from his thoughts quickly as the door was opened, he looked at who had opened the door, Lucas was unlocking the door to where Claus was. Lucas unlocked the door and pushed it open, he smiled as he walked up to Claus. “Claus! I was just checking in on you but I’m glad you’re awake! If you’re ready we can get going.” “Get going? _Where?”_ Lucas was smiling, he grabbed Claus’s hand, holding it tightly. “Anywhere other than _this village.”_ Lucas said pulling Claus up from the table he was sitting on, Claus looked down at his and Lucas’s hands, metal touching flesh. On instinct Claus pulled his hand away “I’d like my gloves first.” Lucas nodded “Your shoes too right?” Claus nodded as soon as he was going to start looking for his gloves and boots Lucas had brought them over. Lucas smiled holding them out for Claus to take, Claus pulled his gloves on first stopping when he was going to pull on his boots. He stared at his feet, robotic just like his arms. Claus pulled his boots on quickly and stood up, Lucas grabbed the males hand once again, Claus pulled away but he grabbed Lucas’s hand after, muttering a quiet _sorry._

  
  
Flint watched his kids leave the village, he didn’t stop them. He could barely look at Claus anymore. Yes it had his son’s face but everything else said **_mechanical._** Flint couldn’t look Lucas in the eye after their argument, Flint looked up at the sky he stared at the clouds, “I’m sorry Hinawa. I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought if Claus came back I’d be happy but, I know, I know I should be.” Flint closed his eyes and pulled his hat down, “I’m sorry Claus.” The entire village had been on edge when Claus came back even if he didn’t seem **_evil_** everyone was still scared that he might just turn suddenly. Flint left to walk back to his home, _they’ll be back and I’ll apologize._  


End file.
